I did a little extra research today because most of the statistics I read in the mainstream media were about Africa and the world in general, and while it is true that Africa in particular is the epicenter of this epidemic, I wanted to know what was happening here at home, which is for me the USA. Last February the CDC (Center for Disease Control) published a comprehensive study about HIV and AIDS in America. It is comprised of information gathered form the beginning of the arrival or HIV and AIDS in America trough the year 2007. Being a gay man, I am, of course, interested in the state of my fellow gays, and I was disheartened to discover that between 2004 and 2007 the number of males diagnosed with HIV in America has increased by more than 2000 people. Now granted, this number includes all males, gay and straight, but the CDC also reports that male to male sexual contact is the single largest factor for all people living with HIV and AIDS in America. In 2007, over 200,000 men who have sex with men were living with AIDS in the US.
I also discovered that the age group with the largest number of AIDS diagnoses was between 35 and 39. The average gestation period of HIV developing into AIDS is around 10 years (with no antiviral treatment). This means that gay men between the ages of 25 and 29 are becoming infected with HIV at a higher rate than any other age group. These guys were just being born when the AIDS virus became a crisis and grew up hearing nothing but safe sex and prevention! Why then are we still becoming infected at such an alarming rate?
I think this issue goes deeper than basic ignorance or a lackadaisical attitude, which most people attribute it to. I believe young gay men in America are still struggling with what it means to be gay and how to be gay in our society. It is true that huge strides have been made on the issues of acceptance of homosexuality in the past 10 years or so. The fact that we are fighting now about marriage rights as opposed to civil rights show this, but we, as a society, are still not completely comfortable with people who are attracted to others of their own sex, and therefore, us gays are not comfortable with ourselves.
From the time that we are of age to understand social relationships, we are inundated with sexual and romantic “relationships” being between a man and a woman. Every commercial on TV shows a guy and a girl snuggling up to one another, or a family with a daddy and a mommy smiling on Christmas morning while the presents are being opened. When kids reach their teenage years, people begin to ask, “So, do you have a girlfriend yet?” Everyone just assumes that a normal relationship is a heterosexual one, and we push this on our kids without thinking. While others were out dating through high school, we were left at home secretly looking at gay porn on the Internet – sometimes our only contact with others like us. Young Gay men are left to fend for themselves in discovering what love and sex mean for them.
It is not until usually the college years, when kids start to lead their lives independently, that gay men really begin to explore their sexuality, putting us years behind our straight counterparts. There is a lot of catching up to do. Guys I know call this catch up period the “slut phase”. We go out and have as much sex as possible with whoever will take us. We are so thrilled to finally be getting the attention we have craved for so many years, that when a condom is not to be found, often times we say, “well just this once won’t hurt” and we proceed to grab the desired attention. Unfortunately, we all know that “just this once” is all it takes to become infected.
We can preach prevention and “the more you know” all we want, but young gay men are still going to go out there and try to discover who they are at any cost. Feeling wanted and accepted and finally getting to act on all these feelings pent up inside of us will almost always trump safe sex. It we really want to protect and prevent, we need to not only teach proper prevention techniques, but to also begin addressing these other psychological and social issues.
I am by no means an expert on any of this. I only speak from what I myself, and others like me, have experienced. I am pleased with the progress our society has made in the past few years, but we have a lot of work to do in the years to come. So, on this World AIDS Day, please remember not only the people affected in far away countries, but also the people right here in our own back yard, those living with HIV and AIDS as well as those who could become infected. Open up you hearts and minds. The acceptance and inclusion of even just one person can actually save a life.
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